Duke Nukem Forever Review

He’s Back, and He’s All Out of Bubble Gum

Production started on Duke Nukem Forever just over 14 years ago with many legal problems and financial cutbacks, it was finally released early last week. With 14 years of production, everyone knew that it would not live up to expectation. Although the flaws are a definite problem, this game still manages to stand out as the most fun, and badass shooter to release so far this year. Will it stay that way, probably not. With the blockbuster lineup slated for this fall, but is worth a pick up, if only to hold you over for a few weeks.

The game starts as only a Duke Nukem game can, Duke relieving himself in a stadium bathroom. If you want to, you can stay in the bathroom and play with the sinks and toilets, or you can paint the walls with feces, whichever you prefer. After leaving the restroom you immediately run in to some EDF (Earth Defense Force) soldiers, that are crowded around a white board, with a pretty basic plan to defeat an alien cyclops which is on the football field. You can write on the whiteboard, and the jokes start early, with the soldier in charge saying “That plans so amazing, I don’t even understand it, but I bet if i did, that guy over there would still have one of his arms… or at least one of his balls!” Which begins the games crude, and hilarious humor, that carries all the way to the last scene of the game.

Duke Nukem Forever last anywhere from 10-15 hours. It took me about 11 to finish the game and it was very fun and interesting the entire time. Each ‘level’ is separated into three parts and each has its own setting, and of course an epic boss battle to send you off to the next level. The special thing about these boss battles in Duke Nukem, is that after kicking its ass, not only did you kill it, you get to humiliate it. Which offers a wide array of actions. For example, the first boss is humiliated by you kicking a field goal its eye. Remember the humor I mentioned earlier, Duke brings it constantly with witty and catchy one liners, like ‘Hey, I can see my dick from here!” or “What the fuck took you so long, but I know it had to do with a sexy chick with three tits, oorah!’

Along with reviving Duke, they’ve brought back his old arsenal, even his iconic golden pistol. After all these years, his weapons still feel natural, and are a blast to kick ass with. My personal favorite is still the shotgun, which can easily blow the legs off a pig cop, and everything else. For the larger enemies, you will have you use the devastators which are dual grenade launchers, or the RPG which can also lock on to any enemy. It’s going to take more that a couple badass weapons to save the babes. You also have trip mines and pipe bombs at your disposal. You also have useful items for yourself such as steroids, which make your screen turn turn an orange color, and beer, which makes you much more resistant to damage.

Now about the problems, and boy there is quite a few. Firstly, the graphics are way below the industry standard. When your aiming down sights nothing is focused on but a small area around the cross-hair, rendering it almost useless. The major problem with the graphics is the lack of polish. When you look at, say a power box on the wall, it will have red writing on it that’s so distorted you can’t read it, and you think, “okay its just not loaded yet” so you wait a second or two, and you realize that its never going to load in.

Duke Nukem Forever also offers a multiplayer portion which is based on a lobby system, however the actual matches are a laggy mess. When you join a match it is almost always in progress, due to a lack of a lobbies. All of the customization is about aesthetics, so of course, you spawn in with your pistol and have to acquire new weapons and equipment that are scattered around the map. If you can get to it, you can’t even walk in a straight line due to lag. One thing special about the MP is that there is almost no camping. This game has a lot of potential in MP, but unfortunately due to the laggy, host advantage mess that it is, it is a complete failure.

In conclusion the revival of The King came with its own set of problems and issues, but Gearbox managed to recapture that badass, alien killing, kick ass character that we all love, and the this game has what so few games have. Fun. And gamers need to start wanting that over graphics and visuals, a fun factor that is rivaled by few games that have been released this year.

The Good

  • Fun as fuck
  • Great Humor
  • Titties!!!
  • Revival of one of the most iconic gaming characters
The Bad
  • Outdated graphics
  • Clunky aiming
Final Score


Posted on June 21, 2011, in News and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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